


Wouldn't It Be Nice

by AnywherePlace (BrownShrike)



Category: Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Age Difference, Blatantly Self-Indulgent Crap, Chubby Toxic Bastard Nie Huaisang, Gen, Horny Lan Jingyi, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Post-Canon, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29607369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrownShrike/pseuds/AnywherePlace
Summary: Nie Huaisang visits his lover Lan Jingyi and uses it as an opportunity to toy with Lan Xichen's emotions.
Relationships: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén & Niè Huáisāng, Lán Jǐngyí/Niè Huáisāng
Kudos: 14





	Wouldn't It Be Nice

**Author's Note:**

> This is NOT a direct sequel to [_The Mouse and the Shrike_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22616755), but it's based on the same headcanons because I'm deeply fond of my own bullshit. As usual, it contains deliberate anachronisms (I'm sorry, I just really like the way _Chief Secretary_ sounds!) and very loose takes on canon events and settings. Please read better literature if you are not okay with this. Also, you're free to pretend that Lan Jingyi is actually a bit older than he is in canon (because canon is vague about ages anyway).

As soon as the servants leave, Lan Jingyi pulls Nie Huaisang into a tight embrace.

"Welcome, Chief Secretary Nie," he whispers hotly into his ear.

The position of Chief Cultivator was abolished soon after Jin Guangyao's demise. Nie Huaisang was not the one who suggested it, not... _directly_ , anyway, but he sort of planted the idea into sect leader Yao's mind, and sect leader Yao, Heaven bless him and his big mouth, happily declared that their noble community had no need for a title hopelessly soiled by Jin Guangyao's murderous ambitions. Somehow or other, a new Council of Clans was promptly established, promising equality to all families, and Nie Huaisang was appointed Chief Secretary. Everyone agreed, probably thanks to Nie Huaisang's flawless handling of the sealing ceremony and other administrative work in the midst of chaos, and in any case, wasn't Jin Guangyao the one who ruined his reputation in the first place, by acting like a patient, benevolent, indulgent older brother?

Nie Huaisang took on the mantle with gratitude and modesty.

His relationship with Lan Jingyi, the soon-to-be leader of the Lan clan, is an enjoyable, piquant little secret. Of course, someday Lan Jingyi will inevitably grow sick of his older lover, with his early wrinkles and thick hips, but right now, the kid is thoroughly obsessed with Nie Huaisang. He developed a crush on him soon after the... unfortunate events at the Guanyin temple: apparently, the sight of a limping, bloodied sect leader Nie awakened _something_ in Lan Jingyi. Some turbulent months passed, and Lan Jingyi confessed to him tearfully; Nie Huaisang accepted him, on the condition that they would not be too hasty (predictably, they got intimate a couple of weeks later). To this day, Nie Huaisang is rather amazed by the fact that Lan Jingyi adores him this much and with such disarming honesty; he doesn’t even seem to mind Nie Huaisang’s occasional crankiness or the heavy roundness of his belly that his loose clothes can no longer hide. Maybe he simply has a thing for pudgy older guys. Some youngsters do. Nie Huaisang knows a number of entertaining stories about sect leader Ouyang and his... circle of male friends.

"I missed you terribly," Lan Jingyi murmurs and kisses the corner of Nie Huaisang's mouth. "How are you, anyway? Last time we met at the Hall of Council, you didn't even talk to me. Were you mad at me? I’m so sorry, I..."

"No, no," Nie Huaisang laughs and cups his cheek gingerly with his hand. "I'm the one who must apologize. I had a toothache, and my jaw was really swollen. I could barely muster enough energy to lead the meeting," he explains with a weary sigh.

"Poor Chief Secretary Nie!" Lan Jingyi exclaims and caresses Nie Huaisang's hair. "So that's why you were covering your face! Why didn't you ask for my help? Seriously, Chief Secretary Nie, you never... Does it still hurt? I can ask Zewu-jun – I mean, I _can't_ , but I know where he keeps his medicinal herbs, and..."

"Please," Nie Huaisang interrupts him gently. "No need to rummage through Zewu-jun's personal belongings for the sake of something trivial like my wisdom tooth."

"Fine," Lan Jingyi frowns. "But I'll kiss you lots and lots to make you feel better. Promise to tell me immediately if it starts hurting again!" He wraps his arms around Nie Huaisang's waist. "Can we go to my room now? Well, can we?"

Nie Huaisang snickers. "How shameless! I came to Gusu because I _thought_ you required my kind guidance as a future sect leader, and _not_ because you wanted my fat dimply ass."

"I do want your fat dimply ass," Lan Jingyi admits shyly.

Nie Huaisang whacks him lightly with his fan. "I'm _appalled_. Incidentally, how's Zewu-jun? I was hoping to exchange a couple of words with him, but I suppose..."

"He does leave the House of Growing Grass on some days," Lan Jingyi replies quickly. "But right now he's doing another cycle of Absolute Silence, I'm afraid. You can speak to him from the garden though! We talk to him like this all the time, and he'll definitely be happy since it's you, and..."

Nie Huaisang nods slowly. "Thank you."

The air in the garden is fresh and spicy with the smell of jasmine. Nie Huaisang closes his eyes, listening to the distant voices of birds, and Lan Jingyi, ever the tactful fellow, disappears quietly to let Nie Huaisang have his one-sided conversation in peace.

"Hello, Xichen-ge," Nie Huaisang says in a loud and clear voice. "It's Huaisang."

Inside the small and austere House of Growing Grass, one of the Lan clan's many spots for seclusion and reflection, clothes rustle faintly as someone stands up.

"People have been wondering about you," Nie Huaisang continues cheerfully. "And not in a bad way! When we announced that you were stepping down as a sect leader, everyone agreed it was a wise decision and praised you. Well – some minor clan heads had doubts about your successor, but I reassured them!"

He taps his fan delicately against his palm. "Jingyi is a sweet, clever boy, and we are on great terms. Ah, don't get me wrong, I'm not exaggerating my influence – in the end, it's all thanks to your excellent upbringing, Xichen-ge! – but I'll try my best to teach him about the ways of our world. After all, it's so _easy_ to make truly fatal mistakes, even when you aren't _too_ young, and I want to support him while he's still learning."

He chuckles softly. "Speaking of young sect leaders, Jin Rulan is doing remarkably well! He always looks a bit sad when... the subject of his _relative_ comes up, but quite frankly, we don't mention him much during meetings," he adds. "Honestly, what for? Oh, Xichen-ge, our Hall of Council feels so empty without you sometimes. You don't _have_ to participate in our conferences anymore, but we would love to see you again. Wouldn't it be nice, Xichen-ge?"

He notices the slender figure of Lan Jingyi behind the bushes and raises from the stone bench. "Sorry for making you wait, deputy sect leader Lan!" he calls. "I'm leaving! Have a wonderful day, Zewu-jun."

Lan Jingyi rushes to him and practically grabs his hand, chirping enthusiastically about some incredible new kind of herbal tea that is supposed to be really good for one's health. Nie Huaisang scolds him affectionately for treating him like a sickly person and shoots one final glance at the House of Growing Grass.

There is a brief shadow of movement in the window, and then, nothing.


End file.
